Difficult conversations with your manager can be made easier

As an employee, it's not always easy to speak up to your manager when you have concerns, complaints, or ideas. Having difficult conversations with your manager can be intimidating, but it's important to learn how to do so effectively. 

Types of Difficult Conversations with Your Manager

There are several types of conversations that can be difficult to have with your manager. Some of the common ones are-

1. Discussing a promotion or raise

2. Raising concerns about workload or work-life balance

3. Feeling unhappy about the current role

4. Feeling unsatisfied by how the manager behaves

5. Manager stakeholders, be your peers or your manager’s peers

6. Addressing your own poor performance or other gaps you may see

These conversations can be challenging because they require you to be vulnerable and open with your manager. Additionally, there may be power dynamics at play that make it difficult for you to speak up.

Tips for Having Difficult Conversations with Your Manager

As a leader and as an employee, I have been on both sides of the table enough times during such conversations. Here are a few practices that have helped me time and again. 

1. Prepare yourself mentally and emotionally.

Before you have the conversation, take some time to reflect on your thoughts and emotions. Think about what you want to say, and how you want to say it. Consider how you might feel if your manager responds negatively, and plan ways to cope with those emotions.

2. Choose a time and place that is private and conducive to a productive conversation.

Set up a meeting with your manager in a private space where you won't be interrupted. This will help you feel more comfortable and give you the space you need to have a productive conversation.

3. Explain what you think could be the solution.

Think of an ideal state and also be clear about why it makes sense. You have to have a solution oriented approach during these conversations. For example, instead of saying "You never give me enough feedback," say "I would appreciate more feedback on my work."

Discuss whether the solution is only beneficial for you or is it beneficial for your manager’s goals as a whole.

4. Stay focused on the issue at hand.

Don't let the conversation get sidetracked by unrelated topics. Stay focused on the issue you want to address, and avoid bringing up other grievances or complaints. Let your manager know why this issue is important. Being vulnerable and clear is critical here. 

5. Be open to feedback and willing to work with your manager to find a solution.

Remember that the conversation should be a two-way dialogue. Be open to feedback from your manager, and be willing to work with them to find a solution that works for everyone. If there is a pushback, then take it in the right stride. 

Having difficult conversations with your manager is never easy, but it's an important skill to learn. Communication is key to a healthy working relationship, so don't be afraid to speak up when you need to.

If you have any tips or experiences to share, feel free to leave them in the comments. Good luck with those conversations!